If you read everything down here V , then props .

okay, fuck geometry right now. idc if i have 8 pages of worksheets and some problems from the problems. I'm tired. I'm confused. I'm clueless. & i dont even get it. My days go by so smoothly, i always look forward for that 2:50 bell, but what i realized, is that ; that means i have to go through geometry. LAST. oh what fun. <^> Seems's like last year math all over again .


I had the choice between two schools. I tried to find the one that would be better. So i weighted, and balanced it out. LQ; a school where all my friends were/are. A school where i never even got 'drama' with from my friends. & them, who makes me feel important. A school i planned to go since 4th grade. 5th grade. 6th grade. 7th grade. . THEN WTF happend in 8th? Oh yeah, i met my BFF. The person that was the most importantEST person to me at one point in my life. i weighted it. and guess what. YOU were more important than all of the things i even said about LQ. So what did i do? i told my mom on the day i was suppose to give her an answer " FOUNTAIN VALLEY " & boy, was she surprised . Later on, i got closer with my Bestfriend, and that made the more reasons for me to go to FV. My bestfriend, is always there for me. No matter what the fuck happens. Yeah, we go through some really unusual and . . That reminds me. your note.. ------ Wow, i just finished reading it. You made me tear up. But they're tears of joy. . actually i dont know how i'd describe it. Just happy tears. Anyways. . yeah, My bestfriend, means most to me right now. Through the thick and thins. Actually no. The things me and my bestfriend went through, is ALL thick . You cant considered anything thin between us. So there. No one has helped me as much as you. & that's why right now. i'll say it ONCE again.

Thankyou. For all you've done for me. For all the times you heard me complain and you just there listening . For all the times, i need something, and someone. For all the times i had problems. I came to you. Not all the time, but now. i know for a fact that whatever happens i will. I need you, and so i dont plan on moving schools hopefully. Because of you, and currently. . because of someone else.

You . The person that i would do anything for. First off, i read this paragraph over, and i noticed there's alot more things i need to say in this, but this is all for now. BUTTT ; You made me realize many things about myself. Not only that. But you brought out a happiness in me that i'd never felt before. but to be honest, you ALSO have brought the deepest, saddest, emotion i've felt aswell. Actions, tells you alot about yourself. Your actions in the past . . is possibly the reason we're here now. I dont know im saying all these things right now. But i feel it. Anyways, the things you do. Excites me . It's weird, but i find it amusing that you 'treat me bad' . Wanna know why ? Its because, if you treating me is bad, currently. & i'm PERFECTLY fine with my life right now. Then imagine, what'll happen when you finally " treat me good " ? Exactly, and that's what i'm going to look forward to. You usually dont try. You told me you would. & like you, i'd love it for a person to keep their word. . But all in all. I think its ME that should be thanking you. Not the other way around. 2 months and about 3 weeks so far, & i believe we're going strong. Even though there's just those small little stupid things , that we blame each other for, that can cause something. Just . . remember, because i am too. We shouldnt let such little things. Cause and break something so big . Us.

i dont think im done yet. . SO back to you, BFF, alvin truong . You told me you dont read blogs anymore. but im somewhat hoping and NOT hoping you read this paragraph . Because i hereby annouce that this paragraph here, is only only for you. ; ; We were arguing yesterday, we were yelling out the mistakes we did. The flaws we have. I was rude, disobedient, disrespectful, and straight out a jerk at lunch yesterday. Yeah, i admit it. But right now, i'm not asking for an acceptance to my apology. Actually, im not apologizing at all. And you shouldnt eithier. But there was somehtin you said yesterday that struck me . " I got you, her " . And right now, those words replay in my head. Because now i realize that you did 'get' me the person that is my second most importantest person in my ife right now . Why do you think i always said thankyou to you ? After 869, those thankyou's was because of that. Thats the only reason i said thankyou after that date. The thankyou's i said before that ? Was because . . you were always there for me. But mostly, because youre my BestFriendForever. I neevr told you the reason why, and you told me i shouldve. and so now im listening to you. And there it is ^ . After the things that happen. Me and you both know that posssibly, things from here on out wont be so easy to get back huh ? I'm not asking you to become my BFF again. I'm not asking for anything . All im asking, is if one day i come to you for something really important, i hope you'd help me. because I KNOW. i can rely on you. But i know you have your reasons, if you wont . Because i dont do that to you. ALmost a month ago. i told myself and her . " In every relationship, the boy has to do his part. the girl has to do hers. " i told her that she needs to do hers. And she did . kinda (: but anyways, I will rephrase that and make it direct towards us. " In every FRIENDSHIP, both individuals must do their part. " i think this is better. And now, let me tell you something. the friendship we had. almost a year now. actualy more than that. Because i remember you telling me what happend to your birthday a year ago . . Anyways, Guess what ? in response to that quote. i admit. You did yours. You did alot. You did so much. You did so much, that some of that 50/50 percent we're suppose to share, went over to mines. If that made sense. But yeah i also admit. That i didnt do mines. & i realize, maybe i shouldve tried a litle bit harder . But now, i'll actually say it. But im sorry. Not because of that ^ but because of.. letting this friendship fall, and corrupt .

There . To end this paragraph for you, i want to tell you something else. " I remember, how we always use to talk about colors. . Not only for people . . but for other things, like shoes and clothes. " HAH; red, black, and white, makes a good combo huh? & so that's what i did. Even though i added green, my favorite color to it. . I made a bracelet for MYSELF, to wear, to know that no matter what happens. even if things wont be the same as they were, i'll wear this bracelet wherever i go. Because of ; those thankyou's <3 i said to you. and because of you, personally .


An hour later . . back to geometry, im too busy . but

IN CONCLUSION ;

The ThankYou's .
I thankyou all, once again .
First, the most thankyous. . to you Bestfriend, Annie Bui . <3
Than you, BFF . . Even though i shouldnt be calling you that.
And lastly, you . JulieThuyNguyen <3

yay; i just learned something ^_^



muy importante .



" its a fml kinda thing " (:

HAH; I'm not that ' blind ' , thank you very much .

" But all of that just seems so far away from me,
Had to wake up, face reality "

" Who's to say that my light is better than your darkness? "

@ 6:06 P.M. - Sitting here, looking up. The sky cant get any nicer than this. But the weather can. Even though staying back for a good reason, i realized my health can be affected. " You might've caught a cold " Uhm, no really?! But i doubt i did, or at least hoping . But just stand outside and feel the weather. . it's cold. It's almost raining. . The black clouds are coming in, the flags are moving so ferociously. The leaves and branches on the trees moves and sways back and forth so strongly. The wind, hits me so hard that i, even had to try to maintain my balance. The leaves, dragging through the ground are going like 20 MPH. The night lights came out. The students are leaving. & what's left in the end? Me. Sitting. Alone ; Like i've always been.

You don't know how much you mean to me now. Bestfriend; i thank you once again. Not because of this specifically. But, because i know that after everything, you're still here, by my side whether i'm right or wrong.Another thing is how you know me so well, and that's what i'd expect from my bestfriend, from A bestfriend. I know this may sound a bit corny, or cheesy or whatever. But our bond is u n b r e a k a b l e . Remember. . 4 years. & if i have to be honest, if someone were to ask me on this very day , " If you can have a friendship with someone for the next 4 years, or until highschool ends, who would you pick ? " I'd really say you. Despite the close people i have in my life now. I look up to you now. & now i'll put you after alot of people. Possibly, even my family .

I've been reading most of the day, and something just caught my eye .

" A cloud of smoke was hanging in front of my eyes,
and with one breath you blew it away "

When you told me, a sudden impact just hit me. A jolt, in my body. A numb feeling from head to toe, took over. Things aren't talked over yet, but they will .

It isnt time to go yet, it isnt. I just know it. Because time was what i always talked about. & i always relied on that. & it usually works. it actually does. & if i ALWAYS relied on that. And this time, when i know something that has to do with time, then it must be right.

After talking to you, i realized many things. From missing how things were , to missing how me and him were. you tell me things that make think so hard. I've been told that i usually look ahead 3 steps. In everything i do, and everything i say. When i tell you something, those 3 things im ready to answer to your reply, fails me. Because the things you say, counters that. idontknow why, but it is what it is. But, In the end i also realized, that i would love it. . if you stay by me for these next couple years. Because there aren't many things i want. There aren't many things i need. But there is one thing or actually one person , and that's you; Bestfriend.

As for you, i think tomorrow, will be intersante, but i'll see .


Hey BB, how many times did i say FML today ?HAHA, I'll say it again;

FUCK MY LIFE .

It's rare, but i'm sore. Really sore.

Even with a simple note, i have never smiled after reading such words. Like i said to you before. . Your ways to say things with your words is truly, indescribable.



I showed you the note today, not what was written but who i received it from. Before reading it, you asked me why i was already smiling. After reading it. You asked me why didn't i stop smiling. I read it countless times today. Every class. Everytime i got a chance to sit down. Even when i'm at someones house. Even when im on a damn bike. I finally found something i can look at AND read to cheer me up. Because this doesnt get boring. Hah; that means something. & so , i hereby say that today marks the first day i literally smiled and laughed after reading a note. Especially when it's from you.

" It's a good thing. "

even though i was planning to sleep early, i wanted to blog, and i hate how my sister just lags when she uses my laptop.


You entered my life, made a huge impact, and now, you're drifting away. Leaving me with nothing else, no more shoulders to lean on. No more ears to listen to. & seriously no more hands to hold. . to pull me up like you always do when i'm down. You made me realize countless things, but there's one that stands out after everything that has happend; You made me how to take care of myself, how to go to other people, and how to go through life on my own, without you. . . there.

Let me tell you a little something ,

Even though you are the head of this. That doesn't mean you can tell me what to do, and expect me to listen to you. Live your life, and i'll live mine. Got it? Get it? GOOD . <^>

Guess what ? Let me tell you something. To be honest. to be really really honest. From the start, i didn't approve any of that at all . Not one bit. So if i said i did, then i apologize, pero i lied .

We're in October now arent we? October two thousand and nine. A couple months back, if i were to see that, i'd be overjoyed. I'd be the happiest person at that moment. I'm not saying i am, im just saying . . But no, like i said, you've taught me multiple things. & today you brought a flaw out inside of me that i totally forgot of. So i thank you. But, you've taught me well. My flaw. Even though you taught me something i'd never forget, it's like a law. It's like a rule. But rules are meant to be broken arent they?

Hah;
just like promises.


To be continued ;

i was just looking through my old songs.

& since i was a fob ;

One Life One Love - MC epikz & MC Ryuu

Vietnameeseee, fosho' (:

" thats impossible, i cant imagine someone like you like that "

Seems like there's alooottt of things many people dont know.
Dont know what im capable of.

<^>

It's scary. It's creepy. You told me that. But, but, you want to know what's really scary? What's really creepy? Its how your always somewhat there.

Whatever i think of, all the thoughts i have. The things in my mind. To the dreams i dream of. To the nightmares i get. You're in each and every single one. Waking up in the middle of night everyday, i tend to look for you. But i know you're not there. So i grab your pillow. & hug it, until my body turns numb.

Every night, you're in my nightmares, and in my dreams.
Whenever thinking of you, there's never a screen.
Nothing blocks me, to what i do.
As long as i get what i want, as long as i have you.
The presence you have when you're around me, its unexplainable.
The feelings i receive, is truly remarkable.
From the pain you make me have. To the happiness i get.
The day i asked you to be my girlfriend, i will never regret.
There's no rush in our relationship, no need to hurry.
I'm getting used to the pain, so you dont need to worry.
We can take it slow if you want, no more rash & stupid decisions.
Because , honestly, and seriously, i dont want another heartbreak collison.
Knowing that i have you, is what keeps me sane.
You got this attachment on me, i cannot explain.
Im sure no one else does, of what i see inside of you.
But im not going to tell you at all, even though you tell me to.
From the harm and abuse, and the insults i receive.
I could really care less, because that's how you 'show your affection towards me. '

dennyyco (9:51:01 PM): keep your head ^

: nah

: ima keep my head v

youre stubborn, as always. But i cant blame you for how you feel. You have your reasons, i guess, good reasons aswell. Take a stand. Make a move. thats what i told you to do. but you told me she should.

" It ain't a joke when i say you're the one i love,
or when i look at your face i cant get enough. "

fuckmylife and their nightmares.

hehe , im looking forward to go sleep in my bed tonight ^__________^

it took me 2 months and 8 days to say it. but it took me over a month, went through a breakup, and the feeling of being accepted back to make me feel it.

i didn't want to say it so early, but then i realized time isn't everything. It's what you actually feel. & now i know

icantthankyouenoughpk.

'' i love you ''

thanks pk

" i may be weak, but you make me strong. "

WHAT THE FUCK .

EDIT @ 11:05: i bet they lied. i cant bring myself into believing this.

meeting 10/13@ 6:30 PM

Monday, October 12, 2009 12:49 PM

" Congratulations to your son's on making the basketball team, as you have heard Coach Gray has called a special meeting tomorrow night for the freshman parents. We have had to change the location due to room conflicts, we will be in room 231, Mrs. Marquez's math room.

It will be a night of information only, no money yet.

I hope to see you all there, bring your questions as this one is all about you finding out what the program is all about.

Jenise Jenkins, acting Boy's Basketball Treasurer "










. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


-_______________________________________________________-

Babe, we can last it.

PBVB.

6months <3

So today in english , we're suppose to write a journal about ENVY.
" Sometimes we want to have what someone else has because we know it will make us happy. "

She told us to write whenever we felt envy or if we feel it right now. & so, like i always do, i started my journal in class right away, because this was a journal that finally had a good topic. i looked up towards the class after finishing my paper, and i noticed that everyone was still writing, some were even blank. So, i guess that means i was the first one to finish. That says something. Hah; I guess i just had alot to say. Since i didnt even finish it completely since we were suppose to only write one page D: but oh well, i guess that's good enough.

& even though tomorrow it might not happen. I actually have something to look forward to.

You see, you make me expect things that arent suppose to be expected. You make me do things that other people wants me to do that i dont do. You changed me. You made me think of this whole thing as a completely different way now. experience. You made me open up. You broke my shell. You made me who i am today. You make me think of things i never wouldve even think of. You made me realize. But most importantly, you make me . . me.

You see, i have my ways. I'm not that stupid.

I'm hoping that's a good thing. But then, it can also be a bad thing. & thats what i dont understand, situations like those, whether its good or bad. It just has to be in between. Why cant it be just one? But oh well, because i'm up for this damn challenge.


Which one am i ? Overestimate. Underestimate. Dont do any of those. Dont overestimate me. Dont underestimate me. Im both, because in the end, once again, im still in between.

FUCKYOURASSBITCH.

HAPPY 2 MONTHS ;

& since i saw you had a picture, i kind of wanted one too VV


You told me how it wasn't really our two months, because of what i did then. In a day or two it'll be our two months, our actual, but today it is because around 2 months ago, i wont forget, when i whispered into your ear to ask you to be mine. The song why would i ever constantly plays in my head, and then it makes me just regret what i did. But you don't know how happy i am, right now, on this very day. Of course, you made me learn to realize that i cant always see the good side in things, and so that's why i'm learning to see the bad side in most things. Of course, what i did then to not make this an official 2 months, sure makes me feel really unexplainable and of course, regretful. But i will never forget the reason why i did it. The reason within the reason. . & so here i am, hoping it wont be the same reason. I really am hoping, you dont even know. But it's up to you to prove to me, if i would ever think of the same reason again.

This was the only decent picture that kimaleen or pat toook D:


" Happily forever its just going to be us two. We hold the block down, every time we ride through. "

Homura & Shizuku .



Happy 7 Months, Bestfriend ; ABDC ♥

DEAR ,

i told you; those things are true. They are real. I attempted to stop you. i did. i tried. I know pure force wasnt going to do anything either. I know how stubborn u can be. But thats just it, you werent going to listen. & being the person i am, surprisingly, i allowed you to do whateevr the fuck you want. And then after you leaving me multiple times, i realized i cant do anything else about it. So what did i do ? I told you i was going to leave. How you possibly wanted me to. So i did. " Sorry for ditching you. " This shall be the first time i'm actually going to mean it. but dont apologize. Because i hope i knocked some sense into you. You need your alone time. i know you do. So that's why i decided it would be best for you to be alone. So i made the decision i know i was going to regret from the start & left .

Youre alone in the fuckin streets. You know how i fucking feel right now? PROBALY WORSE THEN YOU. fuck man. But its too late now, you made your decision, i tried to change it. but in the end, it was useless, and again, i gave up. again&again. I better see you safe as hell tomorrrow. No matter on your decision, i'm going to stick with you no matter what.


Remember something though , youre my KI. my KICK-IT buddy, wherever you go, i go. Wherever i go, you go. We hang out and laugh like there's no tomorrow, but what did you do just now? Oh yeah, you changed the definition of our title for each other.





@ 12:16 A.M. EDIT : But now that i think about it. . I didnt leave you. You left me.

Ow ; Dripping Bloood .

EDIT : NOTICE that some things may be out of order, but i dont care ^__^


Today, i realized countless things.

In english today, we were writing in our journals, our topic was 'friends'. From your bestfriends, to normal friends, to the longest friend you had, that was what i had to write about. The bestfriends part was quite easy, but when it came to the longest friend. .

I know you dont read my blog, i dont even know if you knwo what a blog is ._. but i wrote about you today, as my longest friend. 2nd grade. Ever since i got on campus with that school, you were one of the few to come up and say hi. I remember 4th grade, 5th grade, and even half of 6th grade. i would go to your house every schoolday. We had band practice together, we left class together, we went into the girls restroom together (: But the thing i wont forget was, how you were the one that i selected to play basketball with me, and you introduced all your friends, and from there, we played, every single day, every recess, every lunch, even when the bell rang, we still kept the game going, " last shot wins " I miss our moments, i missed our convo's , i miss coming to your house for the fun of eating fried rice with eggs, even though there were still some shells in it? LOL, i miss eating all your food, especially your pho (: but in the end, i miss hanging out with you. I barely see you anymore, and you had that title of "bestfriend" for me in the past. & what are you now? " Bestfriend from my old school " that's what i still call you on this very day. 7 years. and we still each other rarely, whether its every 5 months, or every 7 months, or every summer at least once. I'll remember you always as the person that said to your friends "Let's go hang with the new kid "


Another thing i realized, pain. . A word that has so many meanings behind it. But in the end, the definition may stay the same; hurt. I realized one of the most irritating pain i've ever felt before today. The stinging feel, the paain.


Today, i also realized that 'disappointment' meant. I was just lying to myself. I cant believe i did the things i did. Why didnt i listen to myself? Why didnt i fucking try. & tomorrow, may be the result of my poor actions. In the morning . .

Running 3 miles isnt that bad, especially when youre doing it for fun (:


But then N.M. , if what you say is really true. Then you dont know how happy i'd be. How speechless i'd be. How i'll be saying oh my god, tomorrow for like the whole day .


There's still more things to say, but im tired D: i still have to take care of things :D but last thingg..

" Why would i ever. . " Yeah, why would i ? Was i stupid at that time ? Was something wrong with me ? If it was luck i recieve from that one time, then it's going to take more then that for this time. No more stupid choices.