EDIT : NOTICE that some things may be out of order, but i dont care ^__^


Today, i realized countless things.

In english today, we were writing in our journals, our topic was 'friends'. From your bestfriends, to normal friends, to the longest friend you had, that was what i had to write about. The bestfriends part was quite easy, but when it came to the longest friend. .

I know you dont read my blog, i dont even know if you knwo what a blog is ._. but i wrote about you today, as my longest friend. 2nd grade. Ever since i got on campus with that school, you were one of the few to come up and say hi. I remember 4th grade, 5th grade, and even half of 6th grade. i would go to your house every schoolday. We had band practice together, we left class together, we went into the girls restroom together (: But the thing i wont forget was, how you were the one that i selected to play basketball with me, and you introduced all your friends, and from there, we played, every single day, every recess, every lunch, even when the bell rang, we still kept the game going, " last shot wins " I miss our moments, i missed our convo's , i miss coming to your house for the fun of eating fried rice with eggs, even though there were still some shells in it? LOL, i miss eating all your food, especially your pho (: but in the end, i miss hanging out with you. I barely see you anymore, and you had that title of "bestfriend" for me in the past. & what are you now? " Bestfriend from my old school " that's what i still call you on this very day. 7 years. and we still each other rarely, whether its every 5 months, or every 7 months, or every summer at least once. I'll remember you always as the person that said to your friends "Let's go hang with the new kid "


Another thing i realized, pain. . A word that has so many meanings behind it. But in the end, the definition may stay the same; hurt. I realized one of the most irritating pain i've ever felt before today. The stinging feel, the paain.


Today, i also realized that 'disappointment' meant. I was just lying to myself. I cant believe i did the things i did. Why didnt i listen to myself? Why didnt i fucking try. & tomorrow, may be the result of my poor actions. In the morning . .

Running 3 miles isnt that bad, especially when youre doing it for fun (:


But then N.M. , if what you say is really true. Then you dont know how happy i'd be. How speechless i'd be. How i'll be saying oh my god, tomorrow for like the whole day .


There's still more things to say, but im tired D: i still have to take care of things :D but last thingg..

" Why would i ever. . " Yeah, why would i ? Was i stupid at that time ? Was something wrong with me ? If it was luck i recieve from that one time, then it's going to take more then that for this time. No more stupid choices.